‘Hell
is other people’ Jean-Paul Sartre famously once wrote. Sartre clearly never
tried tackling the North Circular during rush hour.
Awash
with angry, short tempered commuters, it is neither the time nor the place for
the faint hearted. But unfortunately, this isn’t the only problem road during these
unfavourable hours. The whole city is at a standstill and for most; this
hellish ordeal is a twice daily occurrence.
Luckily
the powers that be at Mercedes-Benz have brought out a car that makes the
tribulation of any commute as enjoyable as a night out in Las Vegas with Prince
Harry, or thereabouts.
The S350, released in 1972 is now in its 6th generation and is the benchmark for any vehicle of its kind. If it's in the S-Class now, you can guarantee you'll see it in nearly every car in 10 years' time. Before 1982, no car had seatbelt pretensioners and now it is a safety standard in every vehicle.
So
what are the seatbelt pretensioners of tomorrow? With a long list of new luxury
and safety features it’s hard to know where to begin.
The
most notable safety feature in the new S-Class is the Driver Assistance
package. For an additional £2,300 (about the same price as adaptive cruise
control 10 years ago) you get a multitude of sensors, radars and cameras that
can avoid collisions and even drive the vehicle for you.
With
adaptive cruise control being the starting point for Mercedes developing what
they call ‘Intelligent Drive’, they have built on this in a way that is a few
gadgets short of something from I-Robot.
Luckily
we are not at the point where we have to worry about our cars turning against
us; if anything it is quite the opposite. Brake Assist Plus is a feature in
which the vehicle is constantly watching for crossing traffic and oncoming
vehicles. The car will warn you with visual and audio signals and once you
apply the brakes, it will also add braking pressure to ensure the hazard is
avoided.
Pre-Safe
Brake is a function that detects parked or stopped vehicles, pedestrians and if
either are detected, will brake for you. Mercedes say that up to 30mph there
will be no collision and up to 45mph the collision will be mitigated.
Also, if
the vehicle detects an impending rear end collision, it will tighten all
seatbelts in use, lock the brakes and flash the hazard lights at a high frequency.
At
night, this feature also uses Night View Assist (an infrared camera) which displays
an image of the road ahead on the dashboard where the standard speedometer dial
would be.
Not
only does the vehicle protect you from other road users, it also protects you
from yourself. When it senses you’re about to drift into another lane, much
like an xbox controller, the wheel vibrates to warn you. It also senses if the
adjacent lane is occupied and if so, lightly brakes the front opposite wheel to
pivot the vehicle back into the lane, keeping itself centered at all times
without the intervention of a driver.
When
at motorway speeds, the above features are the equivalent to a self-driving
vehicle. Mercedes are well aware of this and therefor limits you to around
10-15 seconds of hands off the wheel driving time, issues you a warning and
then deactivates the feature all together so that you are forced to take
control of the vehicle again. Though as long as you keep a light touch on the
wheel, it will in theory, drive for you.
With
all these amazing features on the vehicle, it’s hard not to feel like David
Hasselhoff behind the wheel of KITT. But this vehicle is also largely used in
the chauffeuring industry and therefore inside, is nothing short of a fine
opulent barge on wheels.
In
the depth of British Winter, there is nothing worse than escaping the cold
outside, to be greeted with a freezing vehicle inside. Ahead of the new C-Class
launching an app in which you can pre-heat your seats even before you have
stepped into the vehicle, the S-Class has a list of functions to keep you as
comfortable as possible on those frosty mornings.
The
‘Warmth Comfort Package’ ensures all essential surfaces are heated up for a
comfortable touch. This is in addition to the heated seats as standard which boast
a wide temperature setting including cold temperatures for those illusive
summer days.
As
well as keeping you at a comfortable temperature, the seats provide you with 6
massage settings, reclines and supports your legs and back. In short, it is a
car seat that makes you forget you are in a car.
Whilst
you’re relaxing you also have a high tech multimedia system at your fingertips.
This includes navigation, telephone, audio/visual and internet as standard. As
an optional extra you can also have access to TV, DVD and games on a 10 inch
screen with wireless headphones. If
you’re sat in the front passenger seat, you still do not miss out on these
features. The split screen function on the front panel allows the driver to see
their dials and satnav whilst you can watch TV until your hearts content.
Mercedes are at the forefront of racing, production and design and the new S-Class is their crowning glory and iconic benchmark for every luxury saloon around. The
only down side to this vehicle is that Reginald Jeeves, with his dry Gin and even drier wit, is not supplied as an optional extra to ease you through the perils of your daily commute.